8 Lessons Learned from the Literary Publishing and Media World
This journey of getting my book The Ghosts of Misawa Air Base and Other Phenomena has been a whirlwind of joy, leaping out of my comfort zone, creativity, loving support, and dreams come true. It is said that realistically, most self-published books can expect to see lifetime sales of 250 books. As of this blog, we stand at 103 books sold in just 5 months. I really didn’t know how many I would sell, but I figured if I sold 10, I’d be happy with that. So you can imagine that “happy” has turned into “ecstatic.”
My book now sits in 2 public libraries. One at Misawa Base Library at Misawa Air Base, Japan, while the other is at the Geauga County Public Library. For a person who grew up in libraries and still loves them as an adult, it’s the most coveted prize in this whole crazy adventure. I am thrilled that the book now sits on shelves where patrons can check it out for free. It will be the gift that keeps on giving for me. To have the book physically back home in Misawa where the stories all began? Don’t pinch me. I don’t want to wake up if this is a dream.
With every new development and every new reason to shout and dance with happiness comes the inevitable: a lesson. Sometimes a hard learned one. Ugh.
Rob has been publishing “low content” books through his publishing company—Dogfather Publishing—on Amazon. Low content refers to materials such as puzzle books, journals, daily planners, and composition books. The Ghosts of Misawa Air Base and Other Phenomena was the first time he had published an actual literary book. Publishers rarely print their own books, something I didn’t know before he created his company. They usually contract that part out.
So, he has been going through KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) an Amazon print on demand service, which is great! No inventory for us to keep in our basement or barn shed. No fees to have to pay for services. Amazon deals with all the orders and customers (we have no clue who is buying my book), takes all the payments, prints the books—and also provides the Kindle ebook format, if you choose—and then ships them to the customers. Our royalties start at 60% of the paperback book price we have set. Then from there, KDP subtracts the costs of printing and shipping from our 60%, which varies depending on trim size, page count, etc. It’s fair.
I have been writing stories and poetry since I was in third grade. I had even written two full books by the time I was a junior in high school. I was a closeted writer, however. Part of the reason was that I suffered from perfectionism…which is the death of any project. The other reason was fear, which is what perfectionism is a symptom of. I considered my writings extremely personal and an extension of myself. Rejection or criticism could only mean that I was unworthy.
To write a book and then actually let it go to be published was huge for me. This time it was without the threat of the first round of rejections that comes from major publishing houses, so that made it much easier to take the leap of faith. But, then the fear of the second round of possible rejections from the readers themselves presented itself. Still, I threw my labor of love out there on a wing and a prayer that it would find itself in the hands of others. It wasn’t about getting rich off the book, which isn’t going to happen. It was about finally releasing myself from self-imprisonment and finally seeing my dream of being an author come true. My words…winding up in the hands and homes of others.
As you can see, both Rob and I were brand new to the world of published works. I had one of my personal experiences published in one of world-renowned psychic Sylvia Browne’s books (Mother God published by Hay House), but that’s hardly the same thing! I no longer owned my words once I submitted them voluntarily to Ms. Browne. But I am now in full control of my own writings. And as literary newbies, we have had our share of mistakes, pitfalls, and life learning lessons.
These missteps helped us gain more experience and knowledge to be applied in the future. By sharing what we’ve learned, there are two things that could happen: either help others from making the same missteps or just give encouragement to others when they do happen that it’s not the end of the world.
So what did we learn? I’m glad you asked. Most of these will pertain to going through KDP if you would like to create your own independent publishing company or just want to self-publish as an author, but they can also be applied to other writing and publishing circumstances. Heck, even other life situations outside of writing and publishing. Here goes:
Editing Mistakes: I knew when I realized I was actually serious about publishing The Ghosts of Misawa Air Base and Other Phenomena that I wanted to do it right. Okay, I admit it. I thought that because I was pretty good about proofreading, I could just find my own mistakes and wouldn’t need an editor. Oh boy. By the time I had done the fifth read-through and kept finding mistake after mistake, I finally came to the conclusion that more eyes were going to be better than my current two. It was a no brainer who I was going to choose as my editor.
There are many freelance editors out there for hire, but my sister was the only person I knew I would trust with my baby, my book. She definitely came with impressive credentials having a degree in journalism from San Diego State University. She had been a journalist in the U.S. Navy, in both writing and broadcasting in Europe for Armed Forces Radio and Television Service (AFRTS). She served as public relations at Naval Air Facility El Centro. She was a disc jockey in Diego Garcia. And she had been writing her entire life as well.
Even though her plate was already full enough with life, my sister agreed to edit my book. She did not disappoint. She not only found so many errors from grammatical to punctuation to making some sentences more cohesive, but she also explained them to me and helped me with things I hadn’t even considered. A great editor is worth their weight in gold. Please don’t publish without one.
So where did it go wrong? Why is this amazing editing experience listed as number one on the list of hard lessons learned? Well, um, ahem…well, shit. It’s because I decided to add more stuff and change a few things after the fact. I thought I didn’t have to bug her with the new additions because I would be able to catch my own mistakes. After all, I wasn’t going to have to proofread through an entire book! It was just going to be a few things here and there. Easy peasy!
WRONG. I thought I did a great job. Until the book was already live on Amazon and I read through the very first paperback book physically in my hands. I cringed as I found I had spelled the same word in two different ways through the course of the book. And there was a pretty decent mistake on one of the paragraphs. Oh no! There were a couple of errors in my acknowledgements; errors my sister would have caught had I actually included it in the manuscript I sent her. But I hadn’t. Why? Because I wanted to surprise her with all the accolades I was going to shower her with once she had the first paperback copy in her hands.
I asked Rob if we could pull the book so I could correct these things. Unfortunately, the answer was he couldn’t even if he wanted to. Once it goes live on Amazon, it’s there forever. They do not allow for such edits. The only way to remedy it was to make the book “unavailable” and release a second edition. It was too soon for that as I had just barely launched. As a result, I have had to swallow my pride and learn to live with it. So here’s what I got from this experience: Get an editor. Listen to said editor. If you really need to add more or change things (a common perfectionist move), make sure you send it back to your editor to look the new material over. As a perfectionist, this has bugged me the most. I can tell you that I will not let this happen again in future books. So, good lesson to learn now instead of later when I’m on my third or fourth book and am supposed to be more experienced by then. Amateur mistakes will not be so easily forgiven by your readers in subsequent writings.
Formatting mistakes: Do not assume that when you upload it for Kindle or ebook options that it will automatically upload perfectly. Uh, yeah. Oops. I sent my manuscript to Rob. He uploaded it onto his program. He did not look through it to make sure it formatted properly. I did not look through it to make sure it was formatted properly. No one looked through it to make sure it was formatted properly.
It was funny because I kept getting a nagging feeling that I needed to ask him if I could review it before it went “live” on Amazon. I was trying to be a better version of myself, however. I reasoned with myself that I was falling back into the trap of perfectionism and was going to self-sabotage things with my habit of trying to micromanage things. And worse yet, I could possibly make Rob feel that I didn’t trust him. Sigh. If I was going to make progress in the whole becoming a better version of myself thing, I had to quit trying to micromanage the process and just let Rob do his thing. Yes, I had nodded to myself. This was good. I had to learn to let go.
So I shoved aside the screaming red flags waving in front of my face and thought, “Wow! I’m really growing as a person here! I am actually letting go! Look, Universe! No hands! I’m a new and improved Chris!”
WRONG. That was a bad move. Red flags are not just pretty decorations flapping crazily through hurricane force winds. They’re there for a reason. The result is that my manuscript did not format properly on Kindle. So I had paragraphs with no gap in between them, creating some monster run-on paragraphs. Oh, the horror.
The lesson learned? You don’t have to be a perfectionist, but someone in the chain needs to look and make sure that our wonderful technology didn’t butcher anything—even if that person has to be you. This is your baby, so listen to your intuition or gut feelings. Your computer doesn’t care about your labor of love. Want proof? It will eat your manuscript you’ve been working on for a year and make it disappear forever into cyberspace where even the most advanced computer geeks can’t retrieve it for you. Your computer program doesn’t care that you will be embarrassed when you receive your Kindle copy and realize that your book is now going to look that way for all of eternity. Like the print form, there’s no going back. The computer just slaps stuff together and it takes human intervention to make sure it did what it was supposed to by…wait for it…proofreading. Those red flags? Those are Divine intervention. Use them.
Attention to detail mistakes: Oh, this one was a hard one to get over. When putting the title in your Amazon listing, MAKE SURE THE TITLE IS CORRECT. Yes, I am screaming that sentence. It will live forever. To have the title wrong is humiliating. When Rob uploaded the listing, something happened and the “s” at the end of Ghosts in my title was omitted. Human error? Irritating auto-correct error? Who knows. And news flash: like everything else with Amazon, there’s no fixing it.
What’s the big deal? For a perfectionist that dared to let her baby leave the writer’s closet and fly out into the world in her very first book…I admit I cried. I guess you’re already assuming that I’m going to drive home the hard lesson learned to check, double check, and triple check before going live?
Not at all. The hard lesson learned here is: Get over it! Mistakes happen. It’s not the end of the world. As long as your book does not have the mistake printed on your book cover, you’re good. Going through a box of tissue in a crying jag is just a waste of a perfectly good tree. For the record, I only went through half a box of tissue. And you’re going to make whoever is working with you sad. Now there’s two or more people who are glum rather than celebrating. Now you’re putting that juju out into the Universe that your book makes you sad. Maybe that will bring sad sales.
Listen, writing and publishing your first book is thrilling, elating, and…stressful. The writing is the easiest part. It’s the rest of the process after that you will have to remind yourself it will all be worth it in the end.
Not a single person has commented on that “s” not being at the end of “Ghosts,” by the way. Maybe people are that polite? Maybe we’ve moved past the age of others gleefully pointing out mistakes in people’s spelling, grammar, and punctuation? I think the most likely answer is that the only person who seemed to notice was me. And now I’ve moved on because I have not lost a single sale because someone was horrified that the “s” is missing. There’s been a lot to celebrate and a lot more to care about.
You are going to have to become a salesperson whether you like it or not: You have made the decision to self-publish or go through an independent publishing company, like Dogfather Publishing. Congratulations! You have taken charge of your life. No literary agents or publishers to reject your writings or change your vision. You will be publishing your book on your own terms. You can finally fulfill your lifelong dream of becoming an author. And…wait a minute. What’s that you say? I have to do what? What do you mean the hardest work is just beginning?
Without the backing of a major publishing house with marketing, public relations, lots of money, thousands to millions of social media followers, and connections, you are going to have to learn to be your own best salesperson and biggest fan of your own book. After all, who knows and cares about your book, poetry, or essays more than you? The sooner you learn this, the better.
I thought I had the perfect situation set up for myself. I can be extroverted when the situation calls for it, but really, I’m quite introverted. I live in my head. And in my head, I had created this scenario where I was the reclusive author typing out my books all day long in happy contentment, while my publisher did all the front and center stuff.
That did not turn out to be my reality. As you may remember, my publisher is new to this, too. Before my book, he was putting out Sudoku books, journals, composition books, word searches, and daily planners. He didn’t advertise much and has been growing slowly and organically on Amazon. A “real book”—as he puts it—has been a learning curve for him as well as me. We’ve been moving through this journey together like two newborns trying to figure it all out either on our own or through the YouTube videos Rob is always watching.
The one thing that I realized very quickly is that finding readers for your book is not going to just automatically happen. And you want readers. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have gone through all this hassle, and the book would still be living in your mind…or your writer’s closet. Without a powerhouse publishing company, however, who is going to get the word out? The answer is YOU. Some people think it really sucks to have to do this part, especially if you don’t have a large following already on social media, haven’t had a viral video, or don’t have the budget for advertising.
I have seen some writers get very whiny online about how they can’t get book sales or a following no matter what they do. I have discovered that having to broadcast and pound the pavement for your own book is actually a blessing. But you have to get rid of some mindsets and comfort zones first.
If you are like me, you like…no…love…instant gratification. This was the first lesson I had to come to terms with. It’s okay not to hit the ground running with thousands of book sales. You have already immortalized your book forever by breathing life into it through printing it (either physically or digitally). It’s not going anywhere. As long as your book is out there, you can make sales until you have left this planet. If you have it on a platform like KDP, it will continue to live beyond you. That is what appealed to me the most with what Rob is doing. He wanted a legacy to leave the kids, and this is the only reason why he started his publishing company. We have a bank account that we don’t touch. All the royalties go straight into that account once Amazon sends the profits at the end of every month. The books will be on Amazon forever. As long as the books keep selling, they will keep feeding the account for generations more to come. It’s not a race. Instead, aim for steady, even if that steady means just one book sold per month. Celebrate every single copy sold. We do!
You have so much to be proud of. That’s the second lesson I had to learn. You have done the hard work that has taken you out of your comfort zone. You let your baby go out into the world. You’re stepping up and becoming it’s biggest fan. Each book sold is not just a mere number to you. It’s very personal. You have truly invested every part of your being into your art and you get to take it as far as it will go.
It’s a blessing that you have to do the hard work of pounding the pavement or speaking about your book on social media. Why? Because no one else will ever care about or feel as much pride as you will for your very own book. You will appreciate where you’ve been and where you wind up more than you can imagine. It’s important that these things shine through clearly to your potential readers. If you’re genuinely excited, they will be excited. If they see you working hard to promote your works, you will be surprised by how many people want to help you spread the word.
It’s not conceit or “extra” to crow about your book. Think of yourself as a walking, talking commercial, even if you’re an awkward one. It’s time, my fellow introverts, to leave the safety of what you’ve always known in order to become who you need to become to have what you desire.
The pitfalls of number expectations and comparisons: Yes. You’re an author now because you love to write. Every author would love to sell millions of copies and wind up on the New York Times Best Sellers List. And it is absolutely possible! Just because you are self- or independently published doesn’t mean that your book cannot become a best seller. There are many examples that blow that myth out of the water.
Oh, and here’s another thing…if your book creates enough buzz, a publishing powerhouse may reach out to you with an offer you can’t refuse in exchange for allowing them to publish your book. Independent publishing companies can even be bought out for a handsome sum if enough buzz is generated about the books it has been producing.
In the meantime, I suggest getting all numbers and comparisons out of your head. Why? Because it will drive you bananas. Just like a social media algorithm. Instead, enjoy the ride and the journey. When my book was first published, I was excited wondering how many books I could sell. I was thinking in the thousands. Then, being who I am, I Googled for articles about this because I wondered if my goals were too lofty. After all, I don’t even know that many people, nor do I have much of an online following as I’ve tried to figure my way around various social media platforms.
What I found in the general consensus is that most self-published books can expect only about 250 book sales in the course of the lifetime of the book, in reality. Oh, bummer. So I course corrected—or so I thought—and decided that 10 was a good realistic number for me. I figured that since I really don’t have a big following anyway, it would be just a handful of family and friends that might want to buy my book.
I passed that number in just one day of my book going live on Amazon.
You would think I would be excited and believe that “in reality,” the sky is the limit! That there is no cap as long as you keep breathing life into it, right? No. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and sales to dry up. Because after all, I had this 250 number stuck in my head now.
Yes, every single book sold is truly celebrated in this house. I cheer. I dance around the sunroom. I excitedly report the numbers to family. But there was a time when I would wait for this good run to dry up. Talk about a way to kill a good thing. If I didn’t know any better, I would say I was putting my energetic request out into the Universe to prove that I’m not actually worthy of all the goodness that has come from this journey (which I’ll talk about soon in the imposter syndrome). Self-sabotage. It’s an ugly trait. And I suffer from it.
I ask Rob every day if I sold anymore books. On the days he said no, there weren’t any sales—during my struggle with worthiness—I was calm and said to him, “Well, I guess that’s the end of The Ghosts of Misawa now. I should really be concentrating on the next book anyway.”
Thank goodness he had belief in me and the book, even when I didn’t. He refused to give up and worked on how to improve the situation. I saw him working hard, and that made me want to help him, even though I’m the one who wanted to give up so easily. It was during these periods over the last 5 months that we came to the conclusion that I had to get over my fears and comfort zones and get my butt out there to talk about my book. Remember, I had to be my own best salesperson. This meant being a guest on podcasts, to which I whined to Rob, “Why can’t you just go on these for me? I’m a writer, not a speaker. I suck at talking!”
I wound up going on podcasts and learned to get over my fears for the good of the book. Talk about going out of my comfort zone!
In September, I realized the book needed to go home to Misawa. There was a moment of fear about how much that would cost in advertising and how hard it was going to be for us to figure out how to do that. But we moved forward anyway, and guess what? Because we took those baby steps, people with the skills and know-how found their way into our lives. We were guided along the way by the marketing and publicity staff of the 35th FSS at Misawa Air Base, and I realized that I never had anything to fear to begin with. It was smooth sailing, and the military community has responded fantastically through book sales and reaching out to us via social media and e-mail.
Suddenly, numbers and comparisons didn’t mean anything to me anymore. I was doing things my way, in my time, after all. I became perfectly content with that. Instead of numbers of sales and comparing myself to others, I found my focus shifting to what was really important to me. That turned out to be the dream to get the book into Misawa’s library where everyone could have access to it. Not only did that become a reality, but it is now at my local Geauga County Public Library as well.
When books sell, I dance. When they don’t, I don’t get down about it. I have some years ahead of me to still write and sell books (at least I hope!), and I’m just happy to be along for the ride on this journey.
This was supposed to be my last lesson learned, but let’s just cut to the chase. The dreaded imposter syndrome: This is a hard one to overcome. Very, very hard. Sometimes it will take therapy to really dig down to get to the core of why you feel you’re not worthy of receiving good in your life. I’m a certified master hypnotist, and I know how difficult it is to change that behavior when it’s so deeply embedded into your subconscious.
For whatever reason, your subconscious had accepted this as your truth: you are not worthy. So no matter how many wonderful things you have coming your way in your life, and no matter how clearly your critical and conscious portions of your mind can see and experience them, that subconscious is going to reject, reject, and reject them all! It will skim right past these good things, and actively seek out the teeniest of experiences or details in your day that proves what it has accepted as truth over all these years.
For example…okay, maybe it’s an extreme example, but here goes: You go into the convenience store and come out with a lottery scratcher. And behold! It’s a $10,000 winner! On the way home, you stop at a drive-thru because you’re thirsty and the kid at the window refuses to take your money saying that it’s free. He smiles at you while wishing you a great day. At a stop sign on the way home, a driver in the opposite direction jumps his turn, nearly hits you in the intersection and flips you off. You get home and open your mailbox. Inside is a card from a friend you haven’t seen in years who just wanted to tell you that they were thinking of you.
Lots of wonderful things in what has been a quite eventful day, right? But yet despite being presented with all this love and good fortune, the person whose subconscious has accepted that unworthiness is its truth will have their subconscious zero in on that one single second in the intersection with the idiot driver, and will blow it up until it has become larger in life. Warning! Warning! You are not worthy. That man didn’t care it was your turn and flipped you off. The near hit suddenly feels like he really did hit you. You’re nobody. It’s just dumb luck that all these other good things happened. Something always has to ruin a good day. You just weren’t meant to be happy.
Ugh. If this is your life, get ready for what is going to come once you become an author. See, the subconscious is actually not this evil villain that I just made it out to be. Instead, it’s truly trying to protect you. It needs to be in the state of stasis—where nothing changes—to survive. Anything that disrupts this state, even if it’s the most amazing thing ever, is deemed a threat. That amazing thing is trying to take you out of your truth, and when that happens, things no longer feel safe. It doesn’t matter if your current mindset and beliefs are unhealthy. It will always choose the safety of what it knows over something that it doesn’t know. Hence, why it’s always seeking out things in your daily life to keep you in your belief. And if it can’t find anything, it will make something up. This is why two people can have completely different experiences going through the same life event together.
This is why will power, diets, positive thinking, affirmations, and such tend not to have success. This is why people on different sides of religion and politics can’t see eye to eye even when presented with facts and personal experiences. The mind knows what it knows and to the hell with anything that tries to threaten this state of stasis. You can’t strong arm your mind into a new behavior and truth. Remember, it will reject it all in a nano second. You won’t be able to keep it up forever before you find yourself sabotaging yourself once again. What it takes is the art of repetition. Instead of trying to shove out a learned behavior or belief, you introduce new behaviors enough times until they become your new truths. Hypnosis can hasten this, but it can be done just being consistent every single day, even when you’re not feeling it.
As you work on getting your book out there, you may start to hear a lot of praise. People are going to be excited for you. They have seen how hard you’ve been working. They know what you’ve had to go through and how hard it was to take that first step. People are going to like or love your book. Wonderful things may start happening for you. And you’re going to smile on the outside but freeze on the inside with fear wondering how long it’s going to take everyone to realize that you’re an imposter.
There’s also the fear of how much work it’s going to take to live up to everyone’s expectations. The fear of success. The fear that someone is going to point out that the emperor has no clothes (or writer has no talent) and everyone is going to open their eyes to that reality.
“Oh, who am I trying to kid? I’m not a real author. I’m self-published. Only real authors get picked up by major publishing houses. I’m never going to have the respect of the literary world. I think people are just being nice when they say I’m a good writer. I don’t want this for myself anymore. I’m getting attention I’m not sure I want. You know, there’s going to be someone coming along who is going to say I suck and I’m a horrible writer and that’s going to hurt. Why would I open myself up to a world where people like to troll? What was I thinking? I’m nobody. It’s never going to go anywhere, anyway. I’m not worthy. I’m scared. Things were simpler before because at least I was safe. What makes me think I have something to say that people are actually going to want to hear. I’m too old. I’m not experienced enough. I’m not educated enough. People don’t seem to like me very much.”
I have experienced this. I still do every now and then, and it’s usually right before I’m about to step out of my comfort zone. It’s Disneyland’s Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride all the way. And then it will come back if something doesn’t work out the way I hoped it would—such as the eye opening experience I just had with a well known podcaster, no thanks to my naivety. I have known very accomplished people who suffer from imposter syndrome. It can happen to anyone.
My lesson learned? Read the above paragraph…it’s going to come when you’re feeling vulnerable because you’re about to step outside of the comfort zone. Your subconscious is already revving up the engines because this is going to threaten the status quo, its state of stasis. This is so key understand. Remind yourself it’s just your subconscious speaking on what it knows from the past and not your current reality. That it’s okay if you’re scared to death.
If you wanted things to stay the same, you would never have made the decision to live out your dream of being a writer. You had to step outside of that comfort zone to do something and be someone different. You may be scared, but you’re a courageous warrior in truth. Your spirit is much bigger than those fears and feelings of being unworthy. Didn’t you already prove that to yourself?
Surround yourself with people who can keep you in check. People you trust to have your best interests at heart. When your mind starts to go rampant seeking to find the things that will just prove once and for all you’re not worthy and that you’re some imposter ogre, your trusted loved ones can give you that metaphorical bop on the head to bring you back to reality: you’re an author, you have a gift, and look! You’re rocking it! Now shut up.
And no, this doesn’t leave you off the hook. You still have to do the work on yourself. But remember, repetition with healthy thoughts and behaviors. When you think you’re not worthy, remind yourself how hard you’ve worked to see your dream into reality. It’s not going to be easy, but you’re worth that time and effort. Let that be your mantra: I’m worth it. Listen, you were meant to be an author. The reason you have so many great ideas and storylines in your head is because the powers that be, however you choose to assign them, knows you are plenty capable enough of breathing the life into them that they deserve. Your creativity and ideas are worth it and deserve to be brought to life.
Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing: Congratulations once again. You’ve published. You’re finally becoming the person you know you were always meant to be. You’re putting yourself out there now because you’ve heeded my advice that you’re going to have to be your own best salesperson and biggest fan of your work. You’re going to attract attention. Aaaaaaaand…unfortunately that means you’re going attract the attention from those who won’t have your best interests at heart. Some are going to want to downright scam you.
I consider myself pretty savvy. I have worldly smarts. I have street smarts. I have internet smarts. I’ve lived all over the world. I’m a former K-9 cop and Air Force veteran. I’m intuitive. I can smell a scammer half a world away. So I wasn’t worried going into this literary world of self-promotion and social media. I do admit I was surprised at how fast and easy these people were able to get my phone number to try to sell me their “publishing services.”
I just ignored them all. For one, I just somehow knew not to trust them. Two, I still have that investigative side to me that will hunt down your caller number to find out who you are and learn all I can about your supposed business. Listen, people. There are a lot of “companies” out there who will reach out to you, offering to promote your book, help you with sales, invite you to “author conventions” so you can make connections, etc. All in exchange for hundreds, sometimes even thousands, of your hard earned dollars. What you will get in reality is maybe a welcome packet (if you’re lucky enough for that) and the sound of their laughter as they head to the bank with your money, never to be heard from again.
When someone you have never heard of wants to “help you,” run. They’re not trying to help you. They are trying to help themselves and make a quick buck off of you. I never fell for any of these things. I even have people messaging me, trying to flatter me, and insisting that I need their help. They can assist with getting me out in front of more people. Sorry. Not going to happen. Fortunately, I didn’t have to learn this hard lesson.
But I had to mention it because the former cop in me wants everyone to be safe and not be taken advantage of. I’m the one you’ll see on Facebook telling scrammers to buzz off when I see them trying to schmooze the people I care about. Ladies, please listen when I tell you that if anyone in a military uniform with service ribbons up to his eyeballs, or in a fancy business suit, starts showering you with flattery and loving words asking to be friended by you, DON’T FALL FOR IT. Almost 100% of the time, the photo of the military officer or business man has been lifted from the internet and dispersed among groups of scammers, all pretending to be this poor, very real guy. A guy who has no idea his photo has him now currently engaged to 800 different women who are all sending money or gift cards to different addresses around the world because he’s supposedly stuck in some other country and can’t cash his paycheck to get home to the U.S. Damn, it’s a good thing I’m not an evil genius, putting my gift for the written word into making up crap like this to scam good people out of their life’s savings.
And here’s the last one for the road. The inexperienced and naivety pitfall: This experience was totally unexpected and it threw me for a loop for a whole day before I shrugged it off and moved on. I had been already been a guest on a couple of episodes of a really great paranormal podcast: You Can See Me in the Dark. Rob had reached out to them and asked if he could send them my book. I was so excited, until they said they would love to have me as a guest on the podcast. I was scared to death to go on and tried to get out of it. Rob hung on like the stubborn Taurus he is, and told me that I was NOT going to be getting out of this. I’m glad I actually listened to him—which is not the norm, because I’m equally as stubborn and being a Sagittarius just makes me fiery on top of that—because I had a fabulous time!
Then he sent my book to the godfather of paranormal podcasts. Same thing. My book was received and the podcaster reached out to Rob saying he thought I would be great for his “bonus” podcast and wanted to set up a day and time for it. Now instead of being scared, I was excited! I had survived the other one so I was feeling confident that I could do these podcast things now. Then…remember the mind actively seeks to find to keep you in stasis…I Googled. When I found out how huge his following was and the millions upon millions of downloads his shows get, I freaked. Now I was terrified. I didn’t want to do it anymore. Oh, that imposter syndrome came rearing its ugly head big time. He has interviewed the most famous of the paranormal celebrities on television. What made me think I was worthy of going on this podcast? What if he finds me boring and uninteresting? I didn’t want to hurt my book sales if he and his millions of followers saw me for the imposter I was!
I did a search for this bonus podcast I was going to be on and I realized that it was possibly going to be a subscription based one. In the weeks that followed in August while Rob and I were traveling, I tried to talk myself up to go on this podcast.
When the day arrived, I thought it would be like the previous podcast where it would all be edited and I would have a great time via Zoom with the host. Instead, I found that my camera was turned off. Okay. No biggie. Maybe that’s how he prefers to do things. He turned on his camera just long enough to say hello and then informed me it would be done in one take. He was very nice, but I was starting to inwardly freak out. Then he turned off his camera when we started. I had nothing to go off on, such as his facial expressions and body language, so it was a little unnerving and felt different…or should I say that he was indifferent. But I shrugged it off, closed my eyes to listen to the different tones in his voice, and then talked about my book. I was happy after because I knew I was going to be exposed to a new set of people out in the world that might have never heard of me otherwise.
After we were done, he told me that he would reach out to let us know when the podcast was going to air and provide a link so we can listen to it. I thought, awesome! Then we waited. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. We never heard from him again.
So, the other day I was wondering if maybe he was just so busy that he either still hadn’t gotten around to getting the episode ready to air—we didn’t know how many other ones he had lined up—or if he just forgot to let us know that it was up. I got onto my phone and went to his website. I couldn’t find not only my episode, but I couldn’t find that bonus podcast either. He had a bunch of his other ones listed, but not that particular podcast. So I went to do an internet search and finally found the podcast. Scrolling through the list of episodes, I discovered that my episode aired back at the end of August.
I was taken aback at first, but then thought it was not that big of a deal. Maybe he just forgot to let us know. At least it was available. When I went to click on it to listen, I discovered that it is indeed a subscription based service to the tune of $69.99 a year. Ouch. I was going to have to pay to listen to the episode I was a guest on. Well, that wasn’t cool! There is a three day free trial, but then you’d be charged after if you didn’t cancel in time. I’m horrible with remembering things like that, so I decided not to chance it.
Then I noticed that he provided a link to Amazon for my book. At first I thought that was great, until I realized that he’s an Amazon affiliate. When someone clicks on the link, he gets paid. So not only was he making a buck or two off of my book, but he was also going to make money off of me, my friends, family, and supporters of my book just to listen to the episode.
In that moment of discovery, I alternated between being deeply disappointed, mad, and sad. I felt used, even though I wasn’t sure why. Good on him for figuring out how to do podcasting for a living and figuring out other ways to make more money! I have nothing against that. Hey, finding many ways to make more income from one thing is awesome. Very enterprising.
I think I was just hurt that I didn’t know this would be the result. I didn’t want people to have to pay to hear about my book. I thought all podcasters conducted things like the ones from my first experience. An even exchange of energy. I talk and give them material for an episode. They air, and give me exposure to new people. Not once did You Can See Me in the Dark try to make a quick buck off of me. They were even sweet and linked my website to the episodes. They wanted nothing from me other than my time. This time, however, it was different. My inexperience didn’t open my eyes to that not all people are the same.
We were all getting ready to go to bed at that time I saw all of this online. I saw my daughter taking off her makeup in her room. I walked in there to complain when she looked at me incredulously and said, “Well, did you discuss the terms before you did the podcast?”
“Well, no,” I admitted. “I didn’t know I had to do something like that! If I had known all this, I would have never agreed to it.”
She is a lot more savvy about the money making and business side of social media and podcasts. Her voice went up an octave and she scolded me, “You don’t ever agree to these things unless you discuss the terms first!”
Terms, terms, terms. Ugh. I just didn’t know that was something I had to think about, know, or deal with. Hard lesson learned. I tried to tell myself that maybe the silver lining is if the book sales went up, even though I have no idea how the episode had turned out. I had Rob look at book sales from around the time it aired. Sales were drying up at that time. So even though the podcaster may not have gained new subscribers from my people and I, and most likely hasn’t made much off my book so far through Amazon, I was still mad that he hadn’t been transparent with me and then ghosted us after (excuse the pun).
Then I realized that I wasn’t so much mad at him, as I was at myself. Why? Because I was embarrassed by my naivety. It’s not his fault that I didn’t ask the questions that I should have. Now that I know that this is what I have to do, I won’t be making that mistake again. The lesson in all this? I have now gained media smarts. Oh yeah, and shit happens. Just learn from it, tuck that new tool into your belt, and press on and do what I do best!
If any of this has helped at least one person or has given food for thought, I’m glad that the lessons learned from my experiences are being put to good use. You all take care and get back to your writing now. You have important things to do, and new readers to reach.